When parents can’t make being together work, changes are inevitable. The family unit has to change. After time goes by, you may end up adding a new partner to the mix, which is another change. When adding someone new there are standards to apply. One rule: new partners should be single, not separated or living with another mate, but single, divorced, or widowed.
Overall, the amount of change children in these circumstances have to go through is extreme. You have to wonder how kids even know who they are and where they came from after all the changes.
When you have to break up your family, sort through what is going on with everyone involved in the situation, before muddling through each and every detail of it from your perspective. You can be certain that someone else besides you is going through some difficulties because of the situation.
When someone becomes a single parent, or when they blend their family, it is still crucial, and very possible, to raise healthy, well-balanced children. Show maturity, strength, and plenty of love—making your children your first priority. Be brave enough to carry yourself and your children through all the changes with integrity and grace. Here are a few other suggestions to consider:
- Determine the amount of time you have considered the addition of this particular partner.
- Ask yourself how your child may see the situation—right now and later in life.
- Will this person be one of many new potential partners or are you certain this person is the one?
- Evaluate if the potential partner offers the basic standards you have put in place. Are you settling for circumstances below what you’ve always wanted? Have you always expected too little or too much?
- Also, regardless of where you are in the process, make your life healthy and happy. Your child’s life benefits when they know yours is doing well. And most importantly, make good choices.
There are many possibilities when you see the world through your child’s eyes. Keep checking back to read more on this blog or check out my book, Loving with Purpose, on Amazon.com.