Breaking Up or Breaking Out

Relationships today are much more confusing than way back when. There are fewer rules and set boundaries when it comes to how a relationship should go. If you have a relationship that is going bad, is it possible that you can keep it from going into the ditch simply by being present?

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First—are you paying attention? Have you looked at your situation and wondered if you are being blind to what is actually going on? Are you turning your head at the situation to avoid conflict or pushing the issues under the rug? Do yourself a favor and take a good, solid look at the relationship.

These are also the times when family and friends can open your eyes to what you are missing. If your relationship is truly in trouble, listen to them. You should consider what they have to say; however, you still must make the hard choices. Is there something that needs correcting in your situation, do you need to require a change, or is it time to go?

Second—are you paying attention? Yes, this is the same question, but the message is not. You have to pay attention at what you are doing, saying, and feeling. Are you being loving, caring, and kind to your mate? Are you giving a little effort to your relationship, but then turning away the rest of the time? Are you in-and-out when giving everything you’ve got to this situation? Are you working harder to be right rather than working hard to be happy?

Your future can take a drastic turn if you take the steps to be aware and openly honest with yourself.

  • Make a vow, to yourself, that you will do everything in your power to make the relationship work. You will give 150%—until there is nothing left to give. Be loving, kind, generous, and compromising with your mate. Speak softly and stay peaceful; however stand up for yourself during the process when necessary. You can have confrontation without having a fight.
  • Look at the situation, being completely honest with yourself about what you are getting and what you deserve. Expecting more from a less than desirable connection can make a huge difference.
  • You can make your expectations known, but you can’t make someone else change unless they want to. Step up and be your own advocate if the situation requires you to do so. If you aren’t able to get what you deserve, make a new plan to get it.
  • Step back; be aware of your surroundings, your partner’s actions, and especially your behaviors, so you make good choices.

Break out of that old way of handling your relationships. Be brave enough to see what you are doing, what is actually going on, and what should or shouldn’t be happening. Whatever happens in the end, you will be much more content knowing you took the situation in your own hands and molded it the best way you knew how.

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