Love Means…Sometimes Having to Say You’re Sorry

Okay, the title alone may not set well with you. After all, you probably heard for years the old adage that “love means never having to say you’re sorry” from the novel and 1970 film Love Story, but you have to wonder how anyone gets around in life without ever having to apologize for something they said or did. Yes, it is nice to imagine, but realistically, I doubt anyone is truly that perfect.

I have often thought myself about the word ‘never’ and wondered “how could that be?” Maybe they are right and you don’t have to apologize for ill words or actions you put upon another. How does that work? Does it mean that you can hurt another person’s feelings and the look on your face or an excuse that is given says it all—that you’re sorry? Showing your puppy dog eyes or giving a big hug during times of upset may be all that is necessary at times, but at some point in time you will have to utter “I am sorry” to get past a wrong doing that you own. Eventually, someone somewhere has to utter those three little words “I am sorry.”

It has been said that your actions speak louder than words, and that is true in the long run, but there are times when saying you’re sorry for what you’ve done can start to heal an open wound long before the changed behavior can be seen. Your kind words mean the difference between someone truly getting over a wrong doing of yours and their ability to just get past it. In other words, saying that you’re sorry can heal the hurt, while not apologizing can hold negative thoughts or bitterness in the background of the relationship. The person never actually gets past the issue, they just hold the resentment deep inside because they never felt you truly understood how you made them feel. The action or changed behavior that comes afterward can then continue the process of healing.

Never be too proud, cocky, or confident to apologize for your actions. What is so great about this topic is that it is okay to apologize. In fact, it’s a sign of maturity, respect, and love when a person musters up enough courage to admit their shortcomings. Having the ability to apologize, especially in light of controversy, is a true sign of strength.

Apologizing is the first step; talking out the discrepancy and putting action behind your words when necessary are next. The ability to forgive someone for hurtful comments or actions is only completely seen when the offender holds himself accountable for what he has done.

So go ahead and say you’re sorry. If you have an argument, apologize for having an issue in the first place. You may not be apologizing for having the disagreement, only to let them know that you never intended to be hurtful toward them. Whether you do something wrong, say something wrong, or behave or act in a negative way toward another, just apologize. Life is too short to hold onto pride; especially when that pride leaves you less loving to another. You will be proud of yourself for being a bigger person.

To read more of my writing go to and check out Loving with Purpose.

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