Do you know someone, or are you someone, who feels the need to make unproductive or nasty comments about another person? Before contributing to the topic, you have to ask yourself: is this conversation a good conversation?
It is always important to know what you are doing to enhance your relationships. If you are gossiping behind the back of a good friend or family member, and then turning around and playing nice with them, you will soon be in for a big surprise. You can get away with this type of back-biting companionship for a while, but gossiping eventually bites you in the butt. Betrayal is hard to swallow, and when word gets back to this person, the comments will probably sting more than you imagined—both to them and you. You can’t say horrible things about someone you care about and then expect that the relationship continues without issue.
If you find you are the one being talked about by someone, remember that it truly does say more about the person gossiping than it does you. Easier said than done, I know, but try not to get your feelings too hurt.
Discussions that are helpful in nature usually manifest from care or concern. These forms of spirited conversations are what friends are all about. A conversation that comes from the heart; sharing thoughts on how to make a situation better, what progress someone is making in life, or sharing good news about those you care about are the best. These topics portray that you care or want to help in some way. If you genuinely care about someone, then having a mean-spirited discussion is hopefully a moot point. You know within yourself if you are being helpful or hurtful.
This goes for comments made to you or made by you. Involving yourself in conversation where someone is talking bad about someone else, partaking in the back-and-forth banter, is just as bad as being the one who started the conversation. Consider what you are saying about someone…or to someone…before saying it. What is your purpose?