What Support Looks Like

Support comes from many different places, in many different forms, and from all sorts of people. The support you receive can be physical, moral, emotional, or financial help. It can come from family, friends, and even strangers—and you don’t know when you will need one or all of these forms of assistance during your lifetime.

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Maybe you need financial help from a parent or friend when tough times occur. Maybe you are expecting support for a child from a relationship that didn’t work out. Perhaps you are a parent looking for a little sponsorship with the rules or needs of your family. Then again, the assistance you call for might be for a little moral or emotional support from a spouse or a close friend; when you have a new circumstance or endeavor that you have taken on. Whatever type of support you need, there are rules to abide by when expecting someone’s help.

With the exception of child support, where each parent has an obligation to fulfill, all forms of support need your attention. For one, you have to determine if you are giving respect to the person you need at the time. Respect in the way you treat this person. Respect in how much, and how often, you are requiring their thoughtfulness. Second, you need to consider if you are giving back to them in some way? The day will come when the kindness that has been given to you must be repaid. The gift might be in the form of money returned, performing a task or errand that needs their attention, or simply a kind gesture that shows the giver how much you appreciate them.

Although you don’t want to have expectations when you give to someone, always expecting something in return, you don’t want to be taken advantage of either. You give when you can, and when it is appropriate or possible, you get something back.

Since support can come in many different forms; a kind gesture, a helping hand, or just being a shoulder to cry on, you never know how you will receive their kindness back. Sometimes the kindness comes back to you in other ways. For instance, if the person you have helped is unable to return the money that was borrowed, their gift might be offering you a service or simply their love and gratitude. Then again, the person in need may not be able to offer themselves because of a disability or personal load; those are the times when the gift comes from an entirely different person or event. In fact, you may get it from both!

We all want to be helpful, kind, and generous people, but if someone is continually asking for your assistance and gives nothing in return—ever—then you have to ask yourself if you are actually helping, enabling, or being over-used by them. Yes, there are special circumstances, but largely, most people can show their gratitude in some way.

Do you want to be known as a giver or a taker in life? How about being a little bit of both? Absolutely, being a giver is wonderful, but you still have to focus on what you are giving and what you are receiving from someone. Pay close attention to what and who you are giving to. Remember that everyone in this life is here to be “used” just not “abused.”

If you would like to read more of my writing, please go to Amazon.com and check out Loving with Purpose.

2 responses to “What Support Looks Like

  1. Great post! I have been a giver for most of my life and was told I needed to look out for myself. I always thought that was just selfish, until I got sick. I realized rather quickly that most of the support I gave to other people would not be returned. That’s ok though, because it taught me a lot. I think its best to find the balance between the two, a giver and a taker. Its better to make sure you are lending yourself to those worth lending.

    • I love your comments jillautumn…”lending yourself to those worth lending” and where you were taught who would really be there for you during the tough times. Getting sick can really open your eyes to who really cares about you and who does not. I wish you good health.

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